Infertility Struggles

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Mark and I have had many life altering events in our 27 years of marriage. We have had our fair share of trials in which many couples would have called it quits. We told you how we were married at a very young age; I was 19 and Mark was 22. I had just finished my freshman year of college. We were young and thought we knew it all, or else we acted like we did. Many people didn't think our marriage would last due to our age. We were bound and determined to prove everyone wrong.

Within four months of being married, we decided to try and have a child. I was only a sophomore in college. We figured we would get pregnant right away and have a baby by the end of the school year. We had it all planned out. We'd have three months with the baby before I would have to start my junior year of college. We didn't get pregnant after the first month, but we kept trying. Month after month we were met with nothing but disappointment. As the months passed, I became more and more emotional. I felt like a failure. The end of the school year, we decided to both go in and be tested for infertility issues. Mark was first and he was fine. I had my hormones tested and some of them were off, so they decided to start me on Clomid. I faithfully took the Clomid, which is a medication designed to stimulate ovulation. Month after month, we were again met with pure disappointment as no pregnancy occurred.

I was sent to see a fertility specialist in Bismarck. The doctor decided to increase my Clomid dose and give me a medication to also help release the eggs. I continued to take the medication faithfully and I also had to take my basal body temperature every day at the same time, faithfully. We were told when we could and could not have intercourse. It was an extremely trying time and the extra hormones did not help my emotional state. During that time, I had several tests and a surgery to try and correct my bifurcate uterus, which did not work. The doctor thought that this could be a cause of infertility, but it was not. After two years of seeking help with fertility issues, Mark and I decided to take a break from trying to have a baby. I was angry and hurt. I questioned why God would do this to us. I was in my senior year of college at this point, and it was a stressful year of nursing school. All the infertility treatments, including extra hormones, and the added stress on our marriage took a toll on me and played with my emotions. I went to our regular doctor in Carrington and asked to be put on antidepressants for a while. That was the first time I took antidepressants. Mark and I made a deal that I would be on the antidepressants for at least six months and then we would decide if we were going to continue with infertility treatments.

After six months, I was weaned off the antidepressant. Mark and I made the decision to resume infertility treatments because by this time it was March of 1997 and if we got pregnant, I would officially be out of school. We went to the same fertility specialist in Bismarck. First, they did another procedure to determine that both of my fallopian tubes were open. They were fine. The doctor decided that it was time to go on something other than Clomid. He upped the game and put me on Pergonal and another med to help release the egg. This is a drug that needs to be injected during a certain time in your cycle and again, I had to take my basal body temperature every morning faithfully. We did this for 1 month and then he decided that we needed to do this along with IUI (Inter Uterine Insemination). The doctor told us we were his youngest patients. I was 22 and Mark was 25. The first IUI failed. The doctor upped the dose of the Pergonal-this made me so nervous as this was the drug that produced the McCaughey septuplets. The 2nd IUI failed. I was starting to feel like a failure again, but both Mark and I held our head up high. We were older and more mature than we were when we started the process three years earlier. The 3rd IUI our doctor was gone. It had to be done on a certain day and there were no exceptions. The doctor decided to train his nurse to do the IUI so that we didn't have to waste a month of fertility drugs. This was our last chance as the doctor told us we would have to resort to IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) next if this didn't work. We went to Bismarck and the nurse performed the IUI.

Two weeks later I had to go in for a blood test. Much to our surprise, it was positive. We finally were pregnant after three years of infertility. We were cautious as we knew there were risks. The doctor had me take progesterone shots to give me a better chance of keeping the pregnancy. I made it through the first few months with only some morning sickness and was feeling good after that. I felt great and pregnancy seemed to agree with me. At around 18 weeks I had an ultrasound and we found out we were having a girl. Mark went to every appointment with me, and we were both so excited to have a baby. When I was 34 weeks pregnant, I came down with a bad cold. I was coughing so much, and I felt awful. On March 17, 1998, I was 35 weeks, and I woke up and began having a coughing fit. I thought I peed my pants and then I realized, my water had broken. I was terrified. It was a month before I was supposed to deliver.

I called Mark at work, and he came and picked me up and drove me to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, I was already dilated to 5 cm. I asked for an epidural, and they told me I was too far to get one. After only 2 hours from my water breaking, Justine Michele was born weighing 4 lb. 6.5 oz and 16 inches long. She was like a tiny baby doll. The doctor was amazed at how well she was doing. He had life flight on standby and Justine was doing so well she was able to stay at the Carrington Hospital. She did become jaundiced and had to stay 5 days in the hospital to have her bilirubin checked and to be under lights. When we took Justine home, she only weighed 3 lbs. 11 oz. She was a peanut. She gained weight and other than colic, she was a very good baby. God knew what he was doing. I look back and I should never have questioned God. He knew the perfect time for us to have a baby. I couldn't imagine if we would have had a baby right away. I would have had a child and had to have finished my last two years of college. College was stressful enough. I can't imagine if I would have had to do it with a child. God knew this and he waited for the right time. Mark and I talked a lot about God and his timing. We knew it was for the best. "But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7

Justine March 1998

Three years of infertiity treatments had its moments. We spent thousands of dollars and had countless doctor's appointments. We had many arguments over those years. Infertility made us question each other and our faith. But in the end, we had a healthy baby girl that God gave us. She was the perfect addition to our family. The fertility doctor told us many times that every month that passed, would be harder on ourselves and our marriage. He said that the longer couples endure infertility issues, the greater chance they have of divorcing. That statement made us more determined than other to stay together no matter what. We truly felt that dealing with infertility and all we endured in our first 4 years of marriage strengthened us as a couple. We were on cloud nine.

Our little family…March 1998