Lifetime Trip to Fight for Life

"For the righteous will never be moved; he will be remembered forever. He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid, until he looks in triumph on his adversaries." Psalm 112:6-8

Security is defined as "the state of being free from danger or threat" (web). Most of us want to feel a sense of security. It is nature’s way. What makes you feel secure? Mark says that "stability" makes him feel secure. Family support, stability, and a strong meaningful hug make me feel secure. Security means that you are protected from harm. When something tragic or life-altering happens in your life, you may feel vulnerable. You may no longer feel secure. Security is a lot like trust, it can be taken away in a heartbeat. Once taken away, it can be hard to regain. It can take a lot of hard work, support, and stability to regain a sense of security, but you can regain it. We especially want security when it comes to family. "Love and peace of mind do protect us. They allow us to overcome the problems that life hands us. They teach us to survive, to live now, to have the courage to confront each day" Bernie Siegel.

Summer 2013 was a very trying time in our lives. I wrote in an earlier blog about our nephew Tim who committed suicide in June of 2013. He was like a brother to Mark. Mark took this very hard, and he refused to talk about Tim's suicide. He plugged along like nothing happened, so I too stopped bringing it up. This was a trigger for Mark, and he finally came to terms with this when he entered rehab. He finally talked about Tim’s suicide and he dealt with it.

In August 2013 my mom and dad decided to take Justine and Bailee on a long road trip. This trip was truly a "trip of a lifetime." Justine and Bailee were obsessed with Justin Bieber at the time. They wanted to see where he grew up, Stratford, Ontario, Canada. They also wanted to see him in concert again (they had seen him in Minneapolis in 2012). My mom and dad were always up for a road trip, especially when it involved any of the grandkids. So, when Justine and Bailee begged them to take them on a road trip in their motorhome, my parents got the atlas out and they planned a trip of a lifetime.

Bailee and Justine Stratford, Ontario Canada

First, they headed to Canada so the girls could visit Stratford, Ontario, Canada. We had obtained passports for them and written a letter giving them permission to enter Canada with my parents. Once they went through Stratford, they headed up to New York state. They were able to visit Niagara Falls. Then they went to a mall in New York City and were able to get in on a meet and greet with Cody Simpson. My dad drove the motorhome to Newark, New Jersey so Justine and Bailee could see Justin Bieber in concert. It was crowded and I remember my parents telling me that they had to leave them off blocks before the venue and Justine and Bailee walked by themselves the rest of the way. Keep in mind, Justine was 15 at the time and Bailee was 14. Many thought they were crazy, but heck, we are from the Midwest and are trusting of others. Anyway, they made it to and from the concert safe all by themselves.

Bailee, Cody Simpson, Justine

Bailee, Grandpa John, Justine at Niagara Falls

Grandma Linda, Bailee, Justine at Niagara Falls

Once the concert was over, they headed back to New York City. They were able to meet up with our former foreign exchange student, Minobu, that stayed with us when we were juniors in high school together. They were able to meet her husband and daughter and they did some sight-seeing. On the road trip back home, they made several stops. One of the stops was a few hundred miles out of the way to see my nephew John and his family in Nashville, TN. They spent a couple of nights in Nashville and got to do a bit of sight-seeing.

Justine and Bailee Bieber Concert ready

From Nashville, they headed back to North Dakota. My mom and Justine called me on the way home. Justine told me that her right hand felt strange. I asked her to elaborate. She told me that it felt like it was asleep. I suggested maybe she slept wrong, and her neck was out and maybe pinching a nerve. Justine and my mom agreed. The next day they were a couple hundred miles from home and Justine called again. She said that the tingling made it hard to move her hand. She said it felt weak. I told her that I would make her a chiropractic appointment for the next day. Justine agreed with this.

When Justine got home, she seemed fine, except she still had complaints about her right hand and arm. The next day she went to the chiropractor. After the appointment, she said she did not get any relief. She said she felt even worse. I told her to brush it off and gave her some ibuprofen. She didn't complain too me the next couple of days, and she returned to work at the Hi-way Drive-In. Kalli, Bailee, Mark, and me headed to the lake on Friday morning. Justine stayed home to work. She wasn't up when we left. Next thing I know, I got a call from Justine saying that she didn't feel right, and she had gone home from work. She said her right arm was bothering her. Within 5 minutes from her call, I received a call from Mark's sister Kathy that she had been called by the owners of the Hi-way Drive-in to go check on Justine. Kathy told me that Justine could barely move her right arm and she was hardly able to walk as her right leg wasn't working right. Kathy told me to come immediately, and she took her to the ER.

I knew in my heart this was not good. I called Mark, who was out fishing with Dale. I told him to come in right away and I let him know that I left for home. Mark picked up Bailee and Kalli at the lake cabin and they all headed back to Carrington. My mind was going 100 mph on my drive back to Carrington. When I got to the ER, Justine and Kathy were in the waiting room. She had just undergone a CT scan. I knew right away they were looking for a stroke or a tumor. I got that awful feeling in my gut. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry, and I wanted to throw up, but I knew I had to keep it together. The doctor came out and told me he wanted to speak to me in private in his office. Well, that is NEVER a good sign. Kathy sat in the waiting room with Justine. The doctor told me that he felt something was terribly wrong with Justine. He said that the CT scan did not reveal a bleed and no obvious tumor was seen but could not be fully ruled out. He said that she needed an MRI right away. He said that she needed to go where there was a pediatric neurologist. He gave me the choice of Minneapolis or Mayo in Rochester.

Mark wasn't even at the hospital yet. I was trying to hold it together as I called Mark. I told him that something was drastically wrong with Justine, and they wanted to life flight her. I told him our options and we both agreed on Mayo in Rochester, MN. I told Mark to hurry so he could say good-bye. She had to go by fix-winged plane due to the distance. I was told I could accompany her on the flight. I kept checking my watch and tried to hold the transfer off as long as we could so Mark could see her. We couldn't wait any longer. They told us we needed to go. The tears streamed down my face as we started down the hallway to the ambulance that was waiting to transport us to the airport. I looked up and I saw Mark. A brief sigh of relief, followed by one of the worse good-byes I had ever encountered. I was reliving the good-bye we shared when I was pregnant with Kalli. But now, this good-bye was between Mark and our 15-year-old daughter.