Positivity in the Face of Adversity

"He is the one you praise; he is your God who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes." Deuteronomy 10:21

Why is it that it seems so much easier to have negative thoughts verses positive ones? Why is it that negativity seems to ease its way in to so many areas of life? What if we all realized that we are in control of positivity versus negativity. If you choose to be positive and see the good in every situation, it can change your whole way of thinking. The positive attitude and changes that you portray will be seen by others. Others will begin to take notice and they may choose to follow. Your attitude affects everyone around you. If you choose to be positive and live your best life, you will radiate this to others. Positivity always wins, always. Take note and acknowledge your surroundings. When there is negativity, continue to portray your positiveness and don't feed into the negativity. If the negativity is so bad that even your continued positivity seems to fall short, walk away from the negativity. You don't need it in your life, and you don't deserve it in your life. "When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

Kalli's story continues. When I left off last time, we were awaiting news of a surgery date. The end of July we finally received news of an official date for Kalli's tracheostomy reversal, September 19, 2006, @ 7:30am. The pediatric ENT in Minneapolis chose to wait an extra month because he stated that due to age and size, waiting even 1 month would increase my chances of a successful surgery from 60% to 90%. Kalli was having issues taking nutrition by bottle and she preferred it being given via her feeding tube (only taking 20-30% by mouth). The speech therapist felt this was behavioral and encouraged us to work hard on her taking a bottle.

Krista and Kalli

She also started to get infections more often. She had one the end of July and she was barely off antibiotics, and we were suctioning a lot of blood, so back on antibiotics she went. When she got an upper respiratory infection, her oxygen needs would go back up and we would need to use it during the day as well as during the night. This didn't stop us from continuing to provide a "normal" life for all our girls, including Kalli. The middle of August we headed to Medora in my mom and Dad's motorhome along with Krista, Justine, and Bailee. It was nice to travel with plenty of room for all Kalli's equipment. We even took her to the musical and my dad was able to secure seats in the front for all of us.

Three weeks prior to Kalli's surgery, our niece Krista returned home. Mark, my dad, and our niece Lindsey all took turns caring for Kalli until her surgery date, with Lindsey being her primary nurse. She continued to make gains and was standing with assist and rolling over. Eleven days prior to her surgery Kalli became ill again and required antibiotics again. We were so nervous that she wouldn't be healthy enough for surgery. After this, we kept Kalli in more of a protective bubble until her surgery. She did get better and about 7 days prior to surgery. Her tracheostomy was needing to be a bigger size and we could hear an air leak.

Kalli and Krista

Lindsey and Kalli

Kalli's pediatric ENT sent all the information in the mail about her surgery and sent information via e-mail. The surgery was called a LTR-Laryngeal Tracheal Reconstruction. The plan was to remove some of her rib cartilage and use it to reconstruct her trachea. The doctor would remove the narrowed part of her trachea and replace it with this rib cartilage. After surgery, Kalli would be placed in a medically induced coma for at least 7 days. The doctor anticipated that she would be hospitalized for at least 3-4 weeks.

On September 19, 2006, Kalli went in for LTR surgery at Minnesota Children's Hospital. Mark and I were with her in the hospital. The day of surgery, Kalli weighed 11 lb. 13 oz. and she was 10 months old. She was the youngest and smallest patient that Dr. Lander had ever performed this surgery on. When they took Kalli away, the tears rolled from all three of us. So many unknowns once again and, so much fear. She went into surgery at 7:30 am and surgery lasted 6 hours. They placed her in a medically induced coma and the tube was placed through her nose vs. mouth, as there was a less chance of causing tracheal damage this way. They also gave her medication to completely paralyze her. After 4 days they began to slowly ween her off the paralytic medication (VEC). The day after surgery Kalli started to have bloody secretions and looked like she may have pneumonia. They had to do a bedside bronchoscopy and Mark and I were able to watch the entire procedure. She had a lot of mucous in her lungs and they were able to suction most of it out during the procedure. They ended up doing this every day until they were able to extubate her. They also had to increase her paralytic medications and medications used to put her in a coma as she had received the drugs so much in the past, she had developed a tolerance.

Mark and Kalli just prior to surgery

Kalli in the PICU after surgery

On September 26, 2006, Kalli was extubated successfully. She needed to be placed on Methadone once again for drug withdrawals. It was awful watching her shake once again from the withdrawals, but the staff were great and did what they could to make sure she remained calm, as they did not want her to cry too much and damage anything. Krista and our sister-in-law Sandy were also present at the hospital. By September 27, 2006, Kalli was able to move out of the PICU onto a stepdown unit. By September 28, 2006, Kalli was able to be off all oxygen. This was far sooner than doctors had anticipated. By September 29, 2006, Kalli was moved to the general pediatric floor. On September 30, 2006, Kalli was discharged from the hospital long before the doctors had ever anticipated. We finally had Kalli home without her tracheostomy and without oxygen. Most importantly, we finally were able to hear Kalli's voice. It was weak, but we had faith it would improve with time and speech therapy.

Daddy and Kalli

Mommy and Kalli

She continued to see occupational therapy and speech therapy weekly. Eating by mouth continued to be a big challenge for Kalli. She preferred that her nutrition mostly be given via her feeding tube. We had such high hopes that once the tracheostomy was gone that she would want to eat by mouth, but this was not the case. We continued to try bottles with every feeding and what she wouldn't take by mouth, the rest was given via her feeding tube. She was only eating about 25% by mouth and rest was given through her feeding tube. She would make baby steps that we wouldn't always see, but the speech therapist made sure to point them out to us. We were glad that we had her back home with us. Kalli was still a sick baby, and the appointments were endless, but she was home.

Kalli home again!