The Faces of Addiction

"Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story--those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south." Psalm 107:2-3

Our good friend Beve recently sent this verse to me. She told me that she felt it spoke our lives-mine and Marks. She said, "God works in all of us." It made me cry. Our hope when I started this blog was that our story and the words I shared, would reach even one person or one couple and bring them hope and bring them courage to make a positive change in their life. I hope that by sharing our story, we have touched some of you. I also hope that we have made a positive impact on you by sharing our story. We want you to know that it is possible to change at any age and at any stage in your life. All you have to do is make a commitment to change and act on your commitment. Remember, believe in yourself whole heartedly and it can be done. If Mark and I can do it, you too can do it. We believe in you and remember; God always has your back. You cannot fail. You can only learn, grow, and become better than you ever have before.

What does an alcoholic or addict look like? What are your preconceptions about addiction? Many people feel addicts are homeless, broke, and struggling to stay off the streets or make ends meet. This is false is most cases of addiction. Over 20% of alcoholics alone are considered "high functioning alcoholics." What this means is that they can hide their addiction from most family and friends. They can hold down a steady job with little to no absences. They are usually able to manage their home and family.

Below is a well-known star, Jessica Simpson who recently posted on social media about her struggle with alcoholism. She has been sober for four years. The picture on the left, is one she took on her first sober day. The following is what she had to say in her social media post, and it hits home. "This person in the early morning of Nov 1, 2017, is an unrecognizable version of myself. I had so much self-discovery to unlock and explore. I knew in this very moment I would allow myself to take back my light, show victory over my internal battle of self-respect, and brave this world with piercing clarity. Personally, to do this I needed to stop drinking alcohol because it kept my mind and heart circling in the same direction and quite honestly, I was exhausted. I wanted to feel the pain so I could carry it like a badge of honor. I wanted to live as a leader does and break cycles to advance forward- never looking back with regret and remorse over any choice I have made and would make for the rest of my time here within this beautiful world."

Below are a couple pictures of Mark. I have shared a lot of his story. The picture on the left is one taken a couple months before Mark sought treatment for alcoholism. We had a Super Bowl party at our house and my friend’s daughter had my phone and went around taking pictures of everyone. She captured this picture of Mark. Obviously not a flattering picture of him. When I saw this picture the next day on my phone, I contemplated deleting it but, instead, I chose to keep it. This is a picture of Mark drunk. Yes, he could have smiled and maybe it would have looked different. I look at this picture now and I see it in his eyes. I can clearly see it now, what I did not see or did not WANT to see at the time. I can see in his eyes that alcohol had complete control over him. He was struggling terribly and did not know how to control it. I look at his eyes in this picture and I can see the hurt, anger, disappointment, resentments, fears, anxieties, and regrets. It portrays a man I thought I knew, only to find out I didn't know him at all. It portrays a man who was struggling so much internally that he thought there was no way out. It portrays a man who lost hope and who lost faith in himself, his family, and God. It portrays a man who was dying on the inside but, doing his best to hide it from his family and friends.

I look at the recent picture taken on the right. Mark is seven months sober in this picture. I look into his eyes in this picture, and I can appreciate so much. I see a completely changed man. I see a man full of hope, love, joy, positivity, optimism, happiness, faith, and confidence. I see a man who chose to make a positive change for himself. This change saved me, and it saved our family. It prompted a positive change in me and in our marriage. It impelled us to both look to God and put him first in our lives and in our marriage. Even in Mark's darkest days, God never left his side. Even when Mark thought God had abandoned him, HE was always there. We have seen God work his miracles in Mark and in our marriage. The first days of sobriety, God never left our side. I had thoughts of leaving because I was beyond shocked and hurt. God spoke to my heart, and HE gave me the strength and the courage to stay and fight for our family. He gave me the strength and the courage to forgive Mark. More recently, HE gave me the strength and the courage to forgive myself. "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

Below are a couple of pictures that depict "our reason." The first picture is of our family. God chose to fight for every one of our girls, even when the medical community had doubts. Our girls have supported us and been there for us always. Mark and I chose to fight for our family because God fought for all of us, and HE will ALWAYS fight for us. If HE fights for us, WE need to fight for us. This has been a journey that has been difficult, yet so inspiring. "God never said that the journey would be easy, but HE did say that the arrival would be worthwhile." The second picture is of our dear friends Beve and Aaron. They have been with us through it all. They saw us both at our most vulnerable moments and they never left us. Instead, they have stayed, supported us, and they have essentially become our family. "Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what."

Our family November 5, 2021

Mark, Me, Beve, Aaron

Those of you out there that are reading this and hanging by a thread, you have got this. You can do it. If you want to change yourself and/ or your marriage for the better, you need only believe it can and will happen. God believes in you and so do we. If our story has already positively impacted you individually or in your marriage, we would love to hear about it. If you want us or me to touch base on something specific, in this blog, let us know. You can send a private message by clicking on the 3 horizontal lines in the upper right-hand corner of this post or you can post below in the "comments" section. Those that have our phone numbers or e-mail address, reach out to us. We want to know your stories. We want you to know, you are not alone. We want to make a positive impact on others.

Song dedicated to Beve and Aaron