500 Days-Let's Celebrate

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Good things come to those who wait patiently. Better things come to those who wait patiently in the presence of God. I know it has been a little over two weeks since I posted a blog entry. I was going to post several days back and looked at the date and decided to wait until today. Today is another day to celebrate. Today marks 500 days of sobriety for Mark. When I congratulated him this morning, he didn't even realize it had been that long. I keep track in my journal, but honestly, I have an app that notified me that today was a milestone for Mark. We truly don't personally count the days. Instead, we make the days count. A fellow recovering alcoholic told us both that you know you are healing and headed in the right direction when you no longer count the days. He said often counting the days at first is common because you are trying to make it sober another day and each day sober is such a victory. Every alcoholic or other addict can tell you their sober date. Every day sober is a victory. The further you are from your sober date, the more victorious it seems. However, any alcoholic or addict can have a setback, and if this occurs, the sober clock starts again.

I am so thankful for these past 500 days. There were days that were extremely hard to get out of bed, but I chose to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. I tried my best to be positive despite my struggles. It was nearly a year ago that I hit my all-time low physically and mentally. But guess what, it has been uphill ever since, and I am determined not to go back to that place. I want to share part of my journal entry from a year ago.

August 22, 2021,

My Dearest Mark,

"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." 1Corinthians 16:13. I am so proud of you. You continue to amaze me daily. Your willpower and determination are awesome. When someone is hurting, you can come up with the most compassionate, loving words. I have seen you do this with your own children and with me. Today I went to the doctor as you requested. I was started on medication for a possible ulcer, and I have an EGD scheduled for Friday. Tonight, we wrote goals for our marriage. Doing these two things today makes me feel at peace, content, and happy. We discussed my current job, and both agree that it also is contributing to my health issues and we agreed for me to look at other options. Tonight, we prayed together for all that I mentioned above. I continue to pray for my physical and emotional health, our marriage, your sobriety, and for God to lead me in the direction I need to go with work. I love you to Maui and back! Love your forever girl-Chel

I periodically read my journal entries from the year prior. Sometimes I need to see how truly far I have come, how far Mark and I have come. I recently went for my yearly physical. A comment was made how healthy and happy I looked. I was asked what my secret was. I told them I found happiness and peace in my personal and work life. That same person told me that I look like a totally different person than I did a year ago and that whatever I was doing, keep doing it! It is comments such as those, that make me smile and know that what we are doing, what I am doing, is working. God works miracles every single day and Mark and I are no exceptions. We are both miracles in so many ways. I am forever grateful for God walking by our side and never leaving us. He was with us during our darkest days, and it was Him who never faulted. He never failed us. He brought us to where we are today. I thank Him every day for walking with us. God is love. God will never leave us. God never fails us. God is good!

I healed my multiple stomach ulcers. My anxiety and depression are under control, and I have been able to ween off some medication, although I don't think I want to make any other changes because I am in a good place. Yes, I still have an occasional bad moment or day, but that is life and with God's guidance and Mark by my side, I can get through it. I haven't had a panic attack in many months. I switched jobs last November and absolutely love it! I work from home, and I have flexibility. I can watch Paislee on occasion so Justine can work. I can go to work early so I can get off early, so I can do things such as help Mark put in subfloor at Justine and Justin's house (remodeling project). Healthcare doesn't generally allow a lot of flexibility, so I am beyond grateful for my job.

Addiction stinks, plain and simple. But it can be overcome. Today we will celebrate Mark's 500 days of sobriety with a simple family supper-although we are missing Bailee and Tristan. We will celebrate all the good in our lives. Our granddaughter Paislee is here and her and her Papa have an unbelievable bond. We will celebrate because every day is worth celebrating in the presence of God. Every day is a gift and today in no exception. So maybe I didn't get a cake for this celebration (unbelievable I know), but we can go get some ice cream! Then we will probably watch a movie and relax and enjoy the moment. Life is good. I can say it! Life is good.