Be Present and BELIEVE ❤️

Lord, teach me how to live fully present in every moment.

"I have come so they may have life and have it to the full." John 10:10

Life is full of twists, turns, and unknowns. It is easy to dwell on the negative and live in the past. It can take a lot of time and hard work to get yourself to live in the present and not look back at the negative. It takes faith in God, faith in yourself, and faith in the people you love the most. It also takes grace. Don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself the grace that you deserve. We have all made mistakes and continue to make them in our lives. Ask God for forgiveness and ask for forgiveness from those you have wronged. This includes yourself. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and give yourself some grace and move forward. Some days it may be hard to do. Mark always reminds me to take it a day at a time, an hour at a time, even a minute at a time. Not everything has to be or can be fixed in the time frame we would like it to-like NOW. That is where I struggle. I want everything to be fixed now. I am not a procrastinator, so it is hard for me to be patient at times. I want my marriage fixed-now. I want my anxiety and fears to be fixed-now. I want to feel like my old self emotionally and physically-now. I know that all of this takes time and all of it takes hard work.

Mark and I have both been working hard on ourselves and our marriage. I have mentioned several things we have done to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. We must be the best version of ourselves so that we can bring that version into our marriage. Then, with our best version of self present, we can work on our marriage together. As I have said numerous times, marriage is a constant work in progress and must never be taken for granted. We both did individual counseling and read various books. Mark did treatment for alcoholism and together we did marriage counseling. We also researched other ways to heal and strengthen our marriage.

The number one way to heal and strengthen a marriage is to bring God into the marriage and make HIM priority. With him as a priority, he will always walk with you and give you guidance. All you have to do is pray, believe, and he will see you through. God does not disappoint-EVER. "We have known and have believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and those who remain in love remain in God and God remains in them." 1 John 4:16

The number two way we have learned to heal and strengthen our marriage is to be fully present. Take the time to communicate and do it often. Tell your spouse how you are feeling and be truthful with these feelings. Don't hide anything. You must always be completely open and honest or things will only build up and can hurt your marriage. Being fully present will at times require you to turn your phones on silent and shut your TV off and be 1:1 with your spouse. WHAT? Turn your phone and TV off? What are we going to talk about? I have news for you, there is ALWAYS something to talk about. If you are at a loss for topics, google ways to start conversations, I know it sounds strange, but even those who have been married for 27 years need conversation starters at times.

The number three way we have learned to heal and strengthen our marriage is to find your and your spouse's love language and speak it. When I say speak it, I mean speak it often. Mark and I have the same love language-words of affirmation. Before we even knew our official love language, we were already speaking it daily, actually several times a day. We continue to text each other words of affirmations more than daily and we speak it 1:1 often. We complement each other often and tell each other how proud we are of the other. We also tell each other I love you many times a day. After you are together for a while, the I love you's seem to fade in number for some reason. We are here to tell you, don't let them fade. Say it often to one another. This is extremely important! Here is an example of our daily morning texts from June 28th.

From Mark "Good morning beautiful. Have I ever told you how much you mean to me and that you are my entire world? Well, if not, you are. My goal is to stay on task and focused and believe in me and you and our bright future ahead of us. I had an amazing weekend with you like always. You are my inspiration, the reason I wake up, the reason I don't drink, and the reason I love so much. Have a great day and remember the positive and never fall back on the past negative. Love you always and forever."

From Chelee "Good morning handsome! You have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. I need frequent reminders sometimes. Mark~I love you to the depths of my soul. YOU are my reason. I also had a fun weekend with you. Sometimes my mind wanders and I get bad thoughts. I know it will get better with time. I have got to remember, I used to have bad days and now it is only a few hours. Progress baby, progress. Anyway, I am feeling at peace, loved, and happy. My goal is to stay focused and continue to believe in us and our AMAZING future. PS-I held your hand this morning as you slept, and I prayed. Love you to Maui and back. ❤️Always yours~❤️Chel

Mark-fishing on Devils Lake

Can you see where words of affirmation daily would make you feel loved? When I receive that text from Mark, it makes my day. It makes me feel loved and happy. When I feel loved and happy, it makes me feel more secure in myself and our marriage. When I feel more secure in myself and in our marriage, I have more trust in Mark. Do you see where this is all leading? It's leading to healing in our marriage and it is leading to a stronger marriage than we ever had before. Some think that their marriage is not salvagable. Some think any hurts, little or big, cannot be forgiven or forgotten. We are here to tell you that if you both want your marriage to work, it can be saved. It is NOT beyond repair. Turn to God and fight for it. If you both put the time and effort into it, your marriage can be stronger and better than ever. Do not give up. Give it a chance.