Choose Happy

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:6

Happy is defined as "a feeling or showing pleasure or contentment" web. Many happy people realize happiness is a choice and it’s up to them to intentionally choose it every single day. Happy people are not held hostage by their circumstances, and they do not seek happiness in people or possessions. Happiness is contagious. If you are happy and have a smile on your face, those around you see and feel it. I know some days are hard, very hard in fact. But this does not mean that you cannot try your best to put a smile on your face and choose to be happy and grateful for the good things in your life. Focus on the good and the things and people that you are grateful for in your life. This will help you to stay positive and therefore can help you to choose happiness and grace.

The rest of our anniversary weekend was amazing. The next day we stopped by a Leininger family reunion to see my sister Sheila and brother Chuck and some of their family, we visited for a while and it was great to see everyone, even if it was only for a short while. After visiting, Mark and I headed to the lake for the remainder of the weekend. We did some fishing that evening. The next day was father's day. The following is what I posted on social media.

"I need to wish Mark a Happy Father's Day! Although it is technically his 24th official Father's Day, it is the first of so many. These past months you have taught our girls so much and believe me, they have noticed. You have taught them it is ok at any age to ask for and receive help. You taught them that at no matter what stage in life you are in, it is possible to change yourself for the better and become more loving, compassionate, and affectionate. You also taught them that if you want to make a change, having faith in God is essential and you have to BELIEVE! Your positive change in attitude and life makes me the proudest wife and me and the girls cannot wait to see where this newfound change leads us all! Happy Father's Day Finchy!"

Mark & Kalli 2020

Both of us commented in our daily texts how we couldn't imagine our marriage feeling this great again, but it did. It felt better and stronger than ever. We were able to do projects together and work well together, with no arguing. We were able to work through any emotions that arose in either of us instead of keeping them hidden inside, only for them to come to the surface at the most inopportune time and in the most uncompassionate way. We had put God first in our marriage and he was working his miracles and even our children and friends were taking notice. We were both more positive, loving, and compassionate to each other and those around us.

By this time, we had established a routine. We were able to wake up together and get ready for the day. Prior to leaving for work we always gave each other a big hug, kiss, and told each other I love you. We would then wish each other to have an amazing day. We continued (and still do) to text each other every morning with our attitudes/feelings and goals for the day. Often, we will also add what we are grateful for. Then every lunch we touch base with a phone call and every afternoon when we reunite, we greet each other with another amazing hug. These routines were amazing and have helped our marriage greatly. It is well known that routine helps build stability and security to those who follow it. That is exactly what our routine was helping produce in our marriage again, a sense of both stability and security. When a marriage has stability and security it helps establish trust. What we had done and continue to do in our marriage is helping me to regain trust in Mark and our marriage that had been lost.

I want to share a prayer that I wrote in my journal.

June 22, 2021. "Jesus, I want to thank you for my amazing husband Mark. Thank you for being with him/by his side during his recovery from alcoholism. The changes he has made is nothing short of amazing and miraculous. He has taught me so much in the past 74 days that I am a better person too. Thank you for walking with both of us during this time and always. With you by our side, our marriage has completely turned around and I know it's because we both allowed you to fully enter our hearts and our marriage. Continue to walk with us. In your name I pray. Amen"

June 25th, Mark finished all his course work for his IOP. He finished it 5 days prior to his last day. He shared the remainder of his work during his scheduled zoom. The following is part of my journal entry for this day.

"My Dearest Mark, you are my reason. You are the reason I choose to get out of bed in the morning. You are the reason I try so hard to stay positive and focused. You are the reason I love so deeply. You, my love, are the reason my heart beats. I love you to the depths of my soul. We both had busy days today. You did your zoom IOP and got the rest of your course work done before your goal. I am so proud of you and all the time and effort you put into your rehab. I hope you continue your journey with AA. Others need your positivity, and they need to hear your story, so they don't feel alone. I truly believe you have a calling to be a support and positive influence on others going through addiction. I also believe together we can have a positive influence/impact on couples struggling in their marriages. While you were doing your IOP, I went over my vision board and several things are in the process or have already come true. That is amazing. I also prayed for us and our children. But every day I add more people that could use our prayers. So many people are struggling that we don’t even know about. OK I have babbled on enough for tonight. I love you to Maui and back and so much more! Love your forever girl~❤️Chel”

Things were becoming more clear to us every day. Mark and I were working so hard to change ourselves and our marriage. Daily readings from our AA, Alanon, and devotional books continued. We never missed a night. After every reading is a short prayer then we would either pray together or each pray silently. We made this (and still do) priority. It’s a routine, and like I said before, routine is important. At this point, Mark had 5 days left in his IOP. We had already begun talking about how we could share our story.