Dealing With Great Loss

"I have called you by your name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God." Isaiah 43: 1-3

Dealing with loss can be so overwhelming. I have seen people so consumed by grief that they can barely function. Grief hits all of us differently. Some may like to talk about the person that was lost, while others may never want to speak their name again. Some may cry uncontrollably for days, weeks, months, while others seem to hold all their emotions inside. There is no right or wrong way when it comes to grief. Each person is unique and each experiences grief differently.

This past week, the community in which Mark and I grew up in lost two very young souls. Life seems so unfair at times and even I asked God "why" did He have to take these individuals that still had so much life to live. I know it is not my place to question His timing and we must trust in Him. Even though I fully trust God and realize that everything comes at His timing, my heart still bleeds for these two families. The amount of grief that these families must be experiencing is something I cannot even fathom.

One individual that passed away battled cancer for 5 1/2 years. She fought her battle with so much dignity and grace. She lived her life to the fullest and those looking in would hardly know her body was so sick. You see, she told herself that she wanted to fight the disease with all she had, all while living her life to the best of her ability. I remember a conversation I had at the lake with her one day. She told me how she was taking a new chemotherapy medication and it was makingher sick. She had already vomited a few times that day, yet there she was coming to greet us and see how we were doing. She didn't let her disease define her yet, she gave a new definition to cancer. She lived four years beyond what doctors expected. She was truly a Rockstar.

When Mark and I started letting people know what we were going through in our personal life, she came every weekend at the lake to see how we were doing. She would exchange snapchats with me giving me encouragement. Yes, that was Mandy, always lifting others up. She was one of the most selfless people I have ever had to pleasure to know. She fought one heck of a fight. Honestly, when my life felt like it had been turned upside down and I didn't know how to cope, I thought of her. Here was Mandy fighting her battle with such dignity and grace. If she could fight cancer that way, why couldn't I fight my battles the same? Honestly, she taught me more than I can even think to write.

She taught me with her journey that life is short, so give it all you have got and love those closest to you. Love them with all you got and make sure they know that you love them. Embrace them often, cheer them on, and tell them how you feel. Do not ever take your family for granted, instead be their biggest cheerleader because when life doesn't go as planned, they too will be your biggest cheerleader.

She taught me that focusing on the positive and never giving up is essential. She proved that mind over matter can improve your outcome. She also demonstrated just plain believing is half the battle. I believe that her way of thinking and her positive attitude allowed her to live longer than anyone expected. She wanted to see more of her children's birthdays. She wanted to share more of their accomplishments. She had a life to live and darn it, she lived it to the best of her ability.

She taught me that mistakes are sometimes made in life and bad things can happen to good people. Mistakes and bad things will not define you unless you choose to let them define you. She taught me that with God miracles are not only possible, they are probable. She exemplified the meaning of a true miracle. She never asked, "why me", instead she said, "Yes, it is me and I am going to fight you (cancer) with every being in my body and prove you wrong." I am proud to have known her and the lessons she taught me will never be forgotten. Fly high, beautiful soul.

A classmate’s son also suddenly passed away this past weekend. Death is hard enough to swallow and then when it comes unexpectedly to a young soul, it makes it that much more difficult. Again, life seems so unfair sometimes. In situations such as this, it is so hard to even know what to say. Losing a child is unimaginable to me. Our hearts ache for them. We are praying so hard for peace and comfort for them during this difficult time. We are praying that Jesus wraps his arms around them and lessens their pain. We pray that God hears their cries and heals their hearts.

Life is not always easy and this past week our hometown community has been rocked with devastation and grief. It makes us realize that we need to be grateful for every day, hour, and second that we get to spend with the people we love. Life is so precious, and tomorrow is not promised. Love those who treat you right and pray for those who don't. Life is too short to hold on to regrets. Make peace with your past. Don't hold onto resentments, let them go. Pray for all of the good in your life. Pray for those who are hurting and pray that God will ease their pain. Pray for our hometown community that these tragedies will bring everyone closer together. Pray for our hearts to heal. "Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth, you will again bring me up." Psalm 71: 20

To the Hoyt and Johnson families: know that you are loved by so many. Our hearts are breaking for you and with you. May you find comfort and peace knowing that your loved ones are safe in the arms of Jesus and someday you will be reunited with them. God bless you today and always.