Families are a Blessing

"These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in this big old, fast-paced world. Often, we go about life in almost a robotic type of fashion. We tend to get up, go to work, maybe drop the kids off at school, come home, eat an evening meal, watch a little television, maybe attend a kid’s event, go to bed, sleep, and repeat it all over again the next day. It becomes such a routine that we tend to miss out on so many things and we often take things for granted. I personally know this because this was my life 400 and some odd days ago. Sure, we took a trip now and then. Yes, we went to our lake cabin nearly every weekend in the summer. To others looking in from the outside, we had a normal and happy life. But, as we all know, looks can be deceiving and often those who appear to “have it all together “are hiding things and hurting the most. "Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden.” Plato

Four hundred and some odd days ago, we as a family were struggling and we were in great jeopardy of falling apart. We hid this well from our own children, family, and close friends. Mark and I both knew we were in trouble, but rarely spoke about it. Instead, we went about our routine, which unfortunately included way too much drinking and other self-destructive behavior. I suggested counseling a time or two, but Mark was always so convincing that I was over analyzing the situation and we were fine. We were far from fine, but God knew the timing had to be right for everything to fall into place.

Fast forward 408 days, give or take a day, and we have learned so much and come further than either of us could have ever imagined. We still have a similar routine, but with numerous changes incorporated into this routine. We no longer run in a robotic fashion. We no longer hide our true selves from each other or those closest to us. We no longer take things for granted. We put God, marriage, and family first. We have reaffirmed our faith in God and our faith in one another. We have vowed to make our marriage work and found essential ways to keep it alive and stronger than ever. Do we still have our moments? Yes, we do. Do we still have things we need to work on? Yes, as with any marriage, it is a constant work in progress, and it is hard work. If you want something to work, you must constantly work to improve it and you must never take it for granted.

This past week, we took a family vacation. It was what our daughter Bailee asked for as a college graduation gift. She wanted a family vacation, and she wanted some other family members to join us. Bailee has always had a zest for life and adventure. Traveling has been a big part of her life and I know that my dad and I had a little something to do with that love of travel. She also has a love for family, and she knows how important it is to keep a close family bond. I would also like to think that I had a little to do with that. We let her choose a few places and then we decided together where we would go on this vacation. We decided on the Florida Keys. Although we have all been to Florida several times, none of us had been to the Florida Keys.

We made some calls and soon we were planning the trip. Thirteen of us went on this trip (Bailee, Justine, Kalli, Paislee, Mark, Tristan, my mom, my sister Marci, my sister Sheila, brother-in-law Ron, nephew Nathan, friend Destiny, and me). We rented an Airbnb that was able to accommodate all of us. It had a private pool, and it was located on a resort community, so we were able to use some of the facilities (pool, marina, restaurants, etc.). We rented two cars and a minivan for all of us, and it worked out perfectly. We had decided on a few things that some of us wanted to do while in the keys and the rest we decided once we arrived.

We were able to do so many things such as deep-sea fishing, snorkeling, parasailing, swim in the ocean, shopping, playing games, swimming in the pool, and so much more. As Mark and I sat together doing our nightly routine, we reflected on this trip and how much it meant to the both of us. This is the first family trip in a long time that we can say was alcohol free and it felt so darn good. It was a vacation where we were able to remember everything about it and truly enjoy it. Sadly, the past family vacations we took often involved alcohol and Mark admittedly blacked out on several nights of these vacations. It is sad when I look back and realize the amount of time and money that was wasted due to alcohol. We no longer allow alcohol to be a driving force in our lives. Instead, we choose to live our lives as though today is the only day that exists. We will not let the past define us, nor will we let it control how we live today.

So, as far as family vacations go, this was an amazing vacation and we both look forward to doing it again in the future. The memories that were made will stay with us always. We are so fortunate that God gave us the tools to change our lives. We were truly given a second chance and have vowed to change ourselves for the better. Our advice to you is this. Don't let this world consume you. Don't get so wrapped up in routine that you forget what is truly important. Don't hide from the true you. Let your light shine and let it shine brightly. Don't dwell on the past and don't take things for granted. Family is a blessing, be honest with them and don't hide from them. And if you get the chance, take the trip with them.