Give Yourself Credit
- Chelee-Mark Finch
- Dec 2, 2021
- 4 min read
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12
I am sure everyone has heard the expression, "Give yourself credit." Some of us are too proud to give ourselves credit when it is well deserved. What this expression means to me is basically, celebrating my life and what I have accomplished in/with my life. Most of us are hard on ourselves and think all too competitively when it comes to successes in life. We often have an attitude that is not very forgiving when it comes to "mistakes" we make along the way. Being unforgiving and hard on ourselves can lead to depression and anxiety and decrease our true potential and productivity. We need to give ourselves credit when it is due, and we need to practice gratitude and compassion with ourselves.
I know, I know, giving yourself credit is easier said than done. But let me tell you, when you do give yourself a big pat on the back when it is due, it makes you feel good. When you feel good, you are more productive, and you are genuinely happier. Your attitude will radiate to those around you and the effects will often, leave a positive impression. According to Tony Robins, "Giving yourself credit doesn't mean avoiding responsibility for you mistakes and failures. It's ultimately about letting go of the past, focusing on the positive and cultivating a deep belief in yourself."
There are several ways to give yourself credit. The following are things I have learned over the past 7-8 months and actively practice.
My Morning Routine
Mark and I greet each other with a kiss, hug, and an "I Love You" every morning. Sometimes he gets up for work before me, so this may be quick and drowsy on my part-but we still do this every morning.
Before I get out of bed, I put my hand over my heart and tell myself that I am ok, I am safe, and I am loved. It was something I learned in a book, and it helps defer anxiety before it even tries to rear its ugly, angry head.
I either meditate for 5-10 minutes from an app I have downloaded, or I pray silently. Sometimes, I do both.
I go to the bathroom and put on my exercise clothes, and I say some encouraging words to myself, such as, "Chel, I believe in you, and I know you can do great things. You've got this!" Then I high 5 myself in the mirror. I know that sounds crazy, but I recently added this step after reading another self-help book. Guess what? It makes me feel good, so I am going to do it whether it sounds crazy or not!
I exercise. I don't always (or even usually) do vigorous exercises, but I make sure to do some sort of exercise every single day. In the summer I did this every morning but chose to walk or run-especially when I was at the lake.
I do daily affirmations. I add new ones periodically. I write them out on a note card and read them aloud every morning-each more than once. Then I visualize my affirmations.
I journal every morning. I have a written journal that I still address to Mark every day. I also do an online journal that has several areas that are addressed: gratitude, goals, affirmations.
Mark and I continue to text each other every morning our daily attitude/feelings and our goals for the day. I also usually text him something positive every morning. I also try to text my friend Beve something positive every morning and she returns the favor.
My Evening Routine
Mark and I read to each other out of our books-his AA and my Al-Anon. Then we read out of our daily devotional book that I shared in an earlier blog. The devotional book always ends with a nice prayer.
We express to each other what we are grateful for, in general and something that happened during the day.
I usually lay my hand on Mark, and I pray. I always start by thanking God for all of the good in my life.
One of us usually ends up falling asleep in the other’s arms. This is how we used to fall asleep in our earlier married days and it feels good to return to this. It makes us both feel loved, secure, and safe.
If I feel anxious prior to trying to fall asleep, I will also do a sleep meditation from the app that I downloaded. It helps me to relax. I also make sure to focus on the positives because it has been proven that what you go to sleep thinking about is what you usually wake up thinking about. So, if you go to bed thinking about a negative thing, you will wake up thinking negatively. If you go to bed thinking about something positive, you will wake up with a positive attitude. I know, you think that is crazy talk, but I assure it is true. I didn't believe it at first, even though I heard this in nearly every self-help book I read. Finally, I tried to do this every night, and it is true.
I have acknowledged in my blog that I have read numerous self-help books over the past 7-8 months. The most recent book I read (or I should say listened to on audible) was called "The High 5 Habit" by Mel Robins. This woman is down to earth, and she narrates her own audible book. She has a way of putting things into perspective and grabbing the attention of her audience. In addition to being an author, she is a life-coach and a public speaker. I learned a lot from her book that I have implemented every day. From the title of the book, I bet you can't guess one thing I have implemented!?!
We all need encouragement and validation in our lives. We can receive these things from others, and we can return the favor by giving encouragement and validation to others; but we must also give these things to ourselves. It is important. We need to take care of ourselves and give ourselves credit. Give yourself a pat on the back. Give yourself a high 5 in the mirror. You deserve it!
Here is the link to "The High 5 Habit" by Mel Robins.
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