God's Plan, Not Mine

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

How many times have you tried to alter your plans because it is what you feel is best for you at the time? How many times have you thrown your hands up and let nature take its course, for lack of better analogy. Now, how many times have you worked hard to make something happen, only it to go a totally different direction than you intended? I know I have said this before; but I believe everything happens for a reason (the good, the bad, and everything in-between). We may not understand it at the time, but I believe if you look hard at whatever trial or tribulation, you will see the good. Think of it this way. I live in a small community. When someone has a struggle such as a bad accident, cancer, etc.; someone in the community steps up. More often than not, a benefit of some sort will be put on for the person or family and/or a bank account will be set up for donations. Out of the darkness, there is kindness and there is hope. All we must do is trust God and trust His plans for us are what is best for us.

Our family has had its share of struggles. Life has not been easy. We were never promised a life of straight paths and beautiful roses. Instead, we often have a life full of hills, mountains, cactuses, and a lot of twists and turns. But look at the beauty we would miss if we only had a straight path. We would miss the back roads, the beautiful views of looking below from the top of a mountain, the crashing of the ocean waves as they hit shore, and so much more. Although there are many things, I wished our family did not have to endure, I know that we have learned from our adversities. I believe God wanted us to share our story, so others know that they are not alone.

Everyone has their trials in marriage, parenthood, and life in general. There is no shame if you choose to learn from your mistakes. There is nothing wrong with turning a heartache into a passion. This I why I have been so active with Alanon. I enjoy sharing with others and hearing other's stories. It makes me feel good to know that I am not alone in this. That is why I wrote a book. I want people to know the various struggles I have had personally and what Mark and I have dealt with over the years. We want people to know that there is no shame in talking about your struggles. Our struggles and our story may someday be someone’s survival guide. There are two things that we want people to understand. First, there is no shame in mental health issues. It is far too common in this world and far more common in rural areas than anyone even knows. I took a poll once of 20 nurses. Seventy Five percent of the nurses that I asked, either are currently on medication for mental health issues or have been at one time or another. This is only an example, but a powerful one. Second, we want people to understand that alcoholism is a disease. No one chooses to become an alcoholic. They don't pick up their first drink and say, "Gee, I hope I grow up to be an alcoholic someday." Alcoholics don't start off addicted from day one. The progression happens over time. They first may drink socially. Often the drinking becomes a problem and switches over to addiction when the brain realizes that the "rush" they are feeling is a dopamine deficit and they need more and more to feel that "rush." Often, any type of addiction has some sort of mental health issue attached to it.

With all that being said, we hope others will not feel alone in their struggles. I am not saying that everyone will choose to open like we have; however, they at least will know they are not alone in their fight. Life is hard enough without others putting shame or guilt on those who have struggles. Help us to let others know there is no shame in mental health issues and there is no shame in addiction. Help end the stigma. Be the better person. Choose kindness. Choose hope.

Now, that I have said all of that. You are all aware that the past six months or, so I have been busy working on my book. I finally got it to an editor and then to a designer to help with the cover and inside pages. Wow, it has been a learning process, and I am so glad that I did it. It was a fun experience. I have met a woman from Chicago who does marketing, and she wants to try and get me some speaking opportunities. I told her to go for it. We will see if this takes me anywhere. Mark says that speaking in public is right up my ally since I like to talk all the time. I have shared my story at many different Alanon meetings, and this person talked to me about speaking prior to even knowing that I was in the process of writing a book!

Sometimes life does not go in the direction that we have planned. Even though there are things that I certainly wished could have been avoided, I feel that this is the direction that God intended me and my family to go. I have learned a lot about myself, my marriage, and so much more. I trust that God will lead me right where I need to be. This is my life.

#endthestigma

Here is a link to my book from Amazon......

Below is a link to my book at Barnes and Noble

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/book/1144238712?ean=2940185983935