Going Home
- Chelee-Mark Finch
- Oct 18, 2021
- 4 min read
Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." John 13:7 .
Sometimes in life, it feels like you are trudging through water and not getting very far. The steps are getting heavier, and it is harder to make any head way. The water is getting deeper, and it feels like it has a muddy bottom. Your feet are getting stuck, and it is more difficult to move. You keep pushing through despite the obstacles in your way. You look back and you have only made it a short distance. You look ahead and you still have so far to go. You stop dead in your tracks and are ready to give up. You look up in great despair and with tears in your eyes. You yell at the top of your lungs, "What more can I take? What have I done to deserve this struggle?” Then suddenly a warm feeling overcomes you and you hear a voice inside your head. This voice is telling you to press on and not to give up. This voice is reminding you that even though you feel as if you have not gone very far, you have made progress. No matter how little the progress feels, none the less, it is advancement. "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
Mark and I have felt this many times over the years. With Kalli and her slow progress in the NICU, we often felt like we were trudging through water, and at times we felt as if we were nearly drowning. We would take one step forward and then two steps back. My last blog post I left off with the decision we made for Kalli to move forward with surgery (Nissen Fundoplication) and G-tube placement. The hospital in Minneapolis was trying to help us get 24 hour/day nursing care for Kalli in preparation for her homecoming. Mark and I went our own quest for nursing care, looking to private help as we knew there were no agencies who could assist us in our area. The team in Minneapolis grew very concerned and asked that we consider moving to Minneapolis temporarily. The nurses even went as far as trying to talk me into working at the hospital. We didn't want to uproot our family and we knew we had to ask for the community’s help. We put a plea out on Kalli's Caringbridge site and word of mouth. We had gotten prior authorization through our insurance company to hire private duty nurses also.
On March 22, 2006, Kalli had surgery. She made it through without any complications. They also fixed an umbilical hernia that she had. Once again Kalli was placed on a ventilator with significant oxygen until the anesthesia wore off. She required Morphine and Ativan again, and therefore she required Methadone to come off the drugs. This was the 3rd time she had to have Methadone for drug withdrawals. Each time was excruciating, as we watched her shake from the withdrawals.
We had a care conference on March 24th, 2006. We informed the staff that our niece Krista would be living with us to help us out. We would train her. We also had a nurse named Deb that was willing to help us out for 2-3 months and our niece Lindsey would also be able to help out. This news was great for us and the staff at the hospital was very pleased. They did not want us to go directly home from Minneapolis, yet they wanted us to transition to either Fargo or Jamestown and then go home from there. By this date, Kalli was up to 6 lb. 2 oz.
Surgery proved to help Kalli's oxygen needs and that was a big goal for the NICU staff for us to take her home. The end of March the NICU did numerous tests on Kalli in preparation for her to return home. They did a repeat echocardiogram and it showed that she continued to have RVH (Right Ventricular Hypertrophy) and a PFO (Patent Forman Ovale). She was on nebulizers to open her lungs and an inhaler for the same reason. We were working hard to get her home and found out Jamestown hospital didn't want to transition her. Looking back, I fully understand. If you were to read Kalli's NICU chart, she was one sick little girl with numerous health issues. But, if you looked at her and spent time with her, she was very manageable. She did not act near as ill as her chart indicated she should have. It was decided that Merit Care PICU in Fargo would transition Kalli to home. That way her pediatric cardiologist, pulmonologist, and back up ENT would be able to see her.
Kalli was flown from the NICU in Minneapolis (her home for 131 days) to the PICU at Merit Care in Fargo. She made the trip without any issues and Mark, and I were there to greet her. The staff at the PICU in Fargo were amazed at Kalli and how well she was doing. They said that her chart reflected a completely different baby than what they saw. They expected Kalli to stay in the PICU for up to two weeks, she was officially discharged to home on April 4th, 2006. After 135 days of hospitalization, our micro preemie Kalli Suzann beat the odds and came home.
Our home was filled with equipment. We had an oxygen concentrator, extra tubing, portable oxygen tanks, nebulizer machine, suction machine, apnea monitor, and all of this had battery backup. We had notified Ottertail of our situation in case of a power outage, and we had notified Carrington Health Center of our return home in case we needed emergency care. Dr. Schaffer agreed to be her back up doctor in Carrington Dr. Quanrud in Jamestown agreed to be her pediatrician. Nurse Deb had the first night shift and other than the oxygen concentrator overheating, all went well. The next days were filled with making appointments for pediatrician and all three therapies: physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. All of this being done while Mark and I continued to work full-time hours. Looking back, I have absolutely no idea how we did it. We just did. We pressed on living fully in the present and not looking back. We never looked too far into the future as we knew life with Kalli was anything but routine.
Comments