Reunited Love

"Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other." Romans 12:10

Do you remember the first time you fell in love with your significant other? Do you remember the butterflies you felt in the pit of your stomach? Do you remember all those tingles you felt when he or she held your hand, hugged you, or kissed you? Maybe you are lucky and still have these tingles after many years together. If not, I am here to tell you that you can get all of those feelings back even if you have lost them fully or only slightly lost them. There are ways to revive your relationship. Later in this post, I will share the first of several ways Mark and I started the revival of our marriage. I am here to tell you, all the tingles are back stronger than ever, even after 28 years together. It’s an amazing feeling.

"When two hearts meet after being apart for a time, the world fades away as they meet and share the purest of loves. They are invincible at that moment, and that is the magic of their love."

Alright, on with our story. We arrived at Detroit Lakes around 6pm. We decided to order pizza so we would not have to go out. We stayed at the Holiday Inn. It brought back memories as the last time we stayed there was for a friend’s wedding almost 16 years ago. That friend passed away in April 2020 at 46 years of age, and alcoholism unfortunately was a part of his life also. Kalli called me that evening and was wondering how my meetings were going (ha!). She talked about her day and then she hung up and she called Mark. It was fun to listen to the same stories a couple times. She had no clue we were together already. We had a nice night alone and ate breakfast the next morning and left for the lake. We made a detour and got some things in Fargo to stock the fridge.

Mark & Chel~Together Again

The drive to the lake we continued to talk about the next steps. Hazelden wanted Mark to do an IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program/Treatment). However, since we were not from Minnesota, he was unable to participate in the IOP through Hazelden. He was not the only one being discharged from another state that had this problem. They were all did their own research on IOPs that they could do online (via zoom). Mark and a few others had gotten a name of one that he was going to call once home. We were both a little frustrated that Hazelden did not research more IOPs for those who are not in state. He planned on taking the first week home off from work so he could get everything squared away. Once we got to the lake we unloaded and got a few things done at the cabin. That night we watched the movie Fireproof. I have seen this move several times but, Mark had never watched it before that night. This was the first step that I had planned to help heal our marriage. If you have not watched it, I encourage you to do so. There is a 40 day “love dare” that it talks about in the movie. I started the love dare on Saturday May 8th. I think it is an awesome experience. I think I was 20 days in before Mark figured out what I was doing, and he joined me for the remaining 20 days. I will share details of the 40-day love dare at the end and a link to the movie for those interested. It truly is an eye opener and I do believe it brought us closer together and closer to God. I will also share some of the days that affected us the most and share some ideas in upcoming posts. Something else we started this day was every day we text each other (even if we are together the whole day) our attitude/how we are feeling and what our goal or goals are for the day. We have never missed a day and this is an awesome tool to use. We are always honest no matter how we are feeling. Some days, early on, my goal was to make it through the day without crying.

On with the story. We had a great night at the lake alone and it brought so many memories of the night we spent there just 3 weeks prior when Mark had gone through awful withdrawals. Our lake home has a new meaning for us and has become a place of sanctuary for us as a couple. On Saturday May 8th, the girls were due to be to the lake around noon. They texted when they were pulling up and Mark hid in Kalli’s bedroom. She came into the cabin and gave me a hug. I asked her to go put her things in her bedroom. She went in there and Mark was waiting for her. She immediately jumped into his arms and gave him the biggest hug ever. They both had tears in their eyes. She asked when he had to go back to Hazelden, and he told her he did not have to go back. She kept saying, “You are lying. You get to stay home? You don’t have to go back?” She was more than ecstatic. She did not leave his side until she went to bed that night. Kalli's reaction to Mark's homecoming brought so much happiness to Mark and she finally realized that he was home for good. All of us went out to eat for lunch as a family. It felt amazing to be together again. After eating, Justine headed home and the rest of us spent the night at the lake.

Mother’s Day was here, and Mark got his wish. He was home with his girls. We all went out to eat breakfast in Devils Lake and returned to the lake to put some things away. The girls gave me an awesome personalized sign and Mark gave me a dozen roses and a massage device. We headed back to Carrington that afternoon. Mark had an appointment to see his mom with his sisters and the girls and me went over to see my mom. All in all, it was a great weekend and I hated to see it end. I was so nervous to return to work on Monday knowing that Mark would be home alone all day. By that evening, my anxiety had kicked in full force again and despite trying to hold it together, I had a full-blown anxiety attack. The kind that takes your breath away and makes you have chest pain. Mark was nothing short of amazing. He sat with me and held me as I sobbed and struggled to breath. He talked to me face to face until I was able to calm down. He reassured me that I was going to be fine and that he was going to be fine. Once the attack ended, he took out a notebook and had me help make a list of things he needed to do in the upcoming week. The list was long and again he reassured me that we would text throughout the day and that I could call at any time. Even with the constant reassurance, I slept less than 2 hours that night.

Fireproof https://g.co/kgs/DXv6JV