Seeking Positivity Amidst Hurt

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

Seeking out things in life can be easy for some, and difficult for others. How do you seek out positivity and happiness? How do you seek these out when life seems so unfair? Maybe you feel you were dealt a bad deck in life. Maybe you grew up in a family that struggled to make ends meet. Maybe you grew up with a family who never expressed interest or love for you. Maybe you have been traumatized by a life event such as physical or sexual abuse. Maybe you had your significant other betray you. Maybe you have suffered a great loss such as a death of a child, brother, sister, spouse, or parent. Maybe you have never experienced any such traumas but maybe you suffer from depression and anxiety. In any case, seeking out positivity and happiness is not an easy feat for many people. Living a life of positivity and happiness can take a lot of hard work, but it can be accomplished.

I know I have talked a lot about positivity and happiness on this blog. I talk about it abundantly because it is so important. I struggle with positivity and happiness and must work very hard on this every day. Writing about it and telling all of you what I do is therapeutic and maybe it gives you some motivation. In this life, it is so easy to fall into negativity. All you need to do is turn on the news and that negativity can suck you in. You must remember, you can either let the negativity consume you or you can choose to see the positive.

Let me give you an example. I was watching the news this morning about the recent, devastating tornado in Kentucky. A candle factory was completely destroyed, and dozens were feared dead. I listened to two different people being interviewed. Both spoke of the devastation, but it was obvious how their attitudes completely differed. The first man spoke of the tragedy and how he heard coworkers screaming for him to help them. He was able to help some to safety and others he was unable to get to. He had tears in eyes as he spoke. He thanked God that he was able to help some of his coworkers to safety. He expressed his sadness that he couldn’t help more people, but he spoke kindly and spoke of gratitude. The next woman they interviewed lost her 21-year-old son in the factory, it was evident immediately that she was angry, hurt, and full of blame. She talked about the weather warnings, and she felt that the factory should have shut down for the night. She felt this all could have been prevented and she put blame on the factory for her son's death. She stated she was extremely angry, and she felt the factory should be held accountable for her son's death and anyone else who perished in the factory. Two people from the same community affected by the same tragedy, yet their attitudes are completely different. The man, although obviously distraught, chose to focus on the positive. The woman chose to focus on the negative and she immediately sought blame.

It is easy to focus on the negative and want to put blame on others. Sometimes there is no one to blame, yet you feel compelled to blame someone or something. It is all in the way you perceive things. You have the choice. You can choose to place blame and focus on the negative or you can choose to find something good and positive in every situation. I know it can be hard. It can be darn hard, but I promise you if you choose to focus on the positive you will feel so much better about yourself and life.

Recently, there have been several unexpected deaths in the area. I am referring to deaths of younger people. Individuals that still had so much life to live. A couple died of Covid complications, two of a heart attack, and two from suicide. It is normal to feel anger and great heartache when someone you love dies. You may choose to blame someone or something for their death. You may question, "Why?" I am a firm believer that God knows absolutely every aspect of your life. When you are conceived, He already knows your entire life history, including when and how you will die. Even when someone dies from their very own hands, God knows this long before it occurs. This doesn't make the deaths any easier, however; you can choose to see the good or positive within the loss. Your loved one lived and there were many positive aspects of his/her life. Focus on the life they lived, not how or why they died. Focus on the good times you shared with them. Use their death to make yourself a better person. Educate yourself and share your story with others. Your story and your loved one’s story may save a life and will make a difference in your own life and the lives of others.

I wish I could take away the hurt and heartache every one of us feels at one time or another. I wish there was a simple answer to "get over" hurt and heartache. All I can tell you is that it takes time. The passage of time may not even heal you fully, but if you lean on God and others in your life, it will get easier. I admittingly had an emotionally bad weekend off and on. As Mark held me, I cried to him to make the hurt stop. He told me he would take every ounce of my pain away if he could. I know he can't make my hurt stop, that is up to me and God. I prayed a lot this weekend and today I woke up with a whole different frame of mind. Even on days that I struggle, I still try to post positive things on social media, and I try to portray a positive attitude to those around me. It's not easy and those closest to me see right through me and see my struggle. I am thankful that they see my struggle and confront me. It means that they care and that they truly know me.

Today is a new day. It is a chance to start over. It is a chance to be better. Today I choose positivity and happiness. I am grateful for the life I have been given: the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. It's my life and only I can make it my best life, so I choose to do just that. I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe in second chances. I believe in hope, love, and forgiveness. I believe God has a plan for each one of us and it is our job to carry out that plan to the best of our ability. To those of you hurting, I am so sorry for your hurt. I will pray for each one of you. My heart hurts along with you. I share in your pain. Put on the full armor of God and he will guide you and protect you always.