So Much to Celebrate

"Every good gift, every perfect gift, comes from above, These gifts come down from the Father, the creator o the heavenly lights, in whose character there is no change at all." James 1:17

Celebrating things is right of passage. We celebrate births, graduations, engagements, marriages, deaths, and so much more. Have you ever looked, like truly looked at what your way of celebration involves or means to you? I am not judging but look at your way of celebrating. We live in small town North Dakota and celebration seemed to always involve alcohol. The birth of a child yep let's go uptown and have a few drinks to celebrate. Oh, my child graduated high school. Along with a buffet of food, we will celebrate with a fully stocked bar for all to enjoy. What? My best friend got married. Well, that calls for a celebration. Drinks are on us! Why is it that society places so much emphasis on celebrating with alcohol? We went to Hawaii and the waitresses didn't prefer to serve us often because we weren't drinking and that means we weren't constantly calling on them and we weren't giving them big tips. You might ask if I really know this for a fact. Yes, I do. I went to the bar to get some waters and the bartenders argued who was going to serve me, because I probably wanted another smoothy or something. Did it bother me? Maybe for a split second. But guess what? Those bartenders and waitresses don't know our journey. They don't know that alcohol almost ruined our lives. They don't know how much courage it took Mark to admit he was an alcoholic. They don't know how much courage it took for him to leave his family and go 350 miles away for rehab. They don't know our story and that's ok. We are going to endure this a lot over the years to come. But alcoholism will not define us and we will not let society dictate how we choose to live. If someone wants to drink, fine. Go ahead and drink. But our choice will be not to drink. If Mark ever has alcohol again, it could take him right back to full blown addiction. That is how alcoholism works and both Mark and I know this. It's not worth the risk and potential heartache.

This past weekend, we celebrated Mark's 50th birthday. It was amazing to have a big celebration for him and him being completely sober. I had planned a surprise party for him at our house. I knew it would be hard to pull off a surprise at our home. I started cooking the day before and told him I was planning on giving some food to Justine and Bailee and freezing some for us. He didn't really buy it, but I didn't know what else to say. We had Tristan and Mark go fishing on Saturday. I had planned on everyone coming over by 6 pm. Well, around 3 pm, Tristan texted and said that they were on their way home because fishing was slow, and they were cold. Bailee, Kalli, and I had decorated the house and the food was all made. So, rather than wait for everyone else, we yelled surprise when he got home. Then Tristan said, "Sure a lot of food for the 6 of us to eat." Ha! Ha! Mark knew better. Before long, I admitted some people were coming. I didn't have to say who was coming because he already figured out who in his head.

By 6 pm, the whole party had arrived. We had so much food prepared. We all sat around and stuffed our faces. We all talked, watched local basketball on TV, and laughed until our bellies hurt. We ate too much food and too much cake. This is what I truly call a celebration. We had a lot of fun and yep, we did it without alcohol. Who knew sober life could be so fun, rewarding, and plain satisfying? We went to bed with smiles on our faces and woke up with our heads full memories, no hangovers, and no regrets. A true celebration indeed.

I wish society would stop putting so much emphasis on alcohol. But if we want that to happen, we must stop feeding into it. The glamour and glitz of the buzz is only temporary but the scars it leaves will be long-lasting. Don't get me wrong, the scars will heal, and things can be better than ever. Sobriety and life without alcohol is a whole different way of life, a better way of life. Mark was on such a rocky path 10 months ago that even he says that if would have continued, he would not be here. He feels something bad would have happened whether it be health wise or car accident. But let's not think about that. As this is being published, Mark is 311 days sober and fast approaching his one-year anniversary. I couldn't be prouder of him and where he is in his life right now. He has worked so hard to get to this point and must work hard every day. It's not a simple process. It is a daily, life-long process.

Throughout this journey we have heard countless stories from strangers, friends, and acquaintances of their stories of addiction. Some of these stories are successful and some have not reached the point where they are willing to get the help they so desperately need and deserve. When I hear these stories, I feel honored to be where we are in our lives and marriage. I also feel compelled to continue to tell our story and end the stigma of addiction. I also feel the need to pray even more because I know without God in our life, Mark would not be where he is today, and we would not be where we are in our marriage. If you are reading this and you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, we want you to know that there is hope. Do not lose your faith. Pray about it and have faith. Addiction sucks, no doubt about it; but there is hope. There is help out here. Educate yourself and if you need extra prayers, reach out to us. We would love to add you to our prayer list. "Where there is HOPE there is FAITH. Where there is FAITH, MIRACLES happen."