Surprise Pregnancy

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139: 13-14

Have you ever had a surprise occur and you were unsure whether you should be happy, sad, or scared? Most of us like a surprise occasionally. For example, when I was surprised on my anniversary with a trip to Hawaii, I was overjoyed. Tears filled my eyes as I was overcome with happiness. I also love giving people surprises. I love to see their reaction and it makes my heart happy when others are happy. I remember surprising Kalli with a trip to see my mom and dad in Arizona in 2015. We got on the plane, and I made sure she didn't hear where we were going. When we got off the plane in Mesa and my dad greeted Kalli with a homemade sign and the biggest hug ever, tears filled all our eyes. That was an amazing surprise that I pulled off on Kalli and one that she will never forget.

In my last blog post, I reflected on infertility struggles that we endured. Justine Michele made our family feel complete. We had so much fun with her. We took her to Denver in June of 1998 for a family reunion and my sisters and mom and dad lived there at that time. She did amazing on the trip. Plus, they let us have a night or two alone. My parents took Justine in their room so we could have uninterrupted sleep. It was an amazing trip and Mark, and I were in love with our little family.

Colorado June 1998

We returned home and were back to our normal routine. On July 4th, 1998, Mark and I were at home. I had worked a night shift and just woke up shortly after noon. Mark and I started talking and out of nowhere, I said to him, "Mark, I don't think I have had my monthly cycle since Justine was born." So, we both were doing the math and it turns out I hadn't. Justine was 4 months old already. I ran to the local Alco store, and I bought a home pregnancy test. I took the test and Mark was in the shower. It immediately showed a positive result; I didn't even have to wait the five minutes to see the results. I started crying and I remember pulling the shower curtain back and giving Mark the test and saying, "You did this to me." Mark laughed. He got out of the shower and embraced me. He told me, "Chel, it took us 3 years and thousands of dollars of infertility treatments to have Justine. This is a blessing. This is meant to be. Don't be upset. Be happy because I am." He instantly made me feel better.

I went to the doctor and found out that I was due the very beginning of March. Justine wouldn't even be a year old. The pregnancy was going well. I was doctoring in Carrington and I had no issues. My doctor decided that he would keep a closer eye on me since I went early with Justine. He decided to see me every 2 weeks starting at 24 weeks. On December 1st, 1998, I had a routine OB checkup. My doctor decided to check me to see if I was dilated. Everything was good and no issues were found. I was 26 weeks pregnant. My mom and dad decided to take Justine for the night to give us a break. I had been sick with the stomach flu a few days before and Mark and I were playing darts that night. Mark and I went to bed that night and I woke up around 1 or 2 am as I felt something wet. I went downstairs to the bathroom, and I discovered I was bleeding. I immediately called the ER in Carrington and the nurse told me to sit down and she would have the on-call doctor call me back. When he called me back a few minutes later he asked me numerous questions. I told him that I was 26 weeks pregnant and that I started bleeding. I told him that I had a routine OB appointment the day prior, and everything was fine. The doctor told me that there was nothing he could do and that I was having a miscarriage and to just let it happen naturally. He was very unsympathetic and had an "oh well, I don't care attitude." I immediately started crying and hung up the phone and went upstairs to wake Mark up. Mark had no idea what was going on because our bedroom was on the top floor and the I was on the main floor of the house. When I woke Mark up and told him what was going on he sprung out of bed. Before we could even talk about what to do next, the phone rang. It was the nurse from the hospital. She said that she heard what the on-call doctor had said to me, and she was upset and took it upon herself to call our regular OB doctor and he said he would meet us at the hospital.

Taken November 30, 1998; 3 days prior to Bailee’s birth

Mark and I headed to the hospital to be evaluated. At this point I had calmed down and I was trying to think positive. I knew that a baby born at 26 weeks was viable, but the odds weren't great. When we got to the hospital, I was hooked up to monitors. The baby's heartbeat was good, and she was not in distress (yes, we were having another girl!). The doctor came in and he checked me. He said that I was dilated to 2 cm, and he said he was extremely concerned about the bleeding. He said that it was a lot of blood and that I needed to be life flighted to Bismarck for the best chance. It was December 2nd, 1998, and it was a misty, foggy night. When the doctor called for life flight, they were unable to fly due to the weather. He had no choice but to send me by ground ambulance.

Mark was told he could accompany me in the ambulance, but he had to sit in the front. I had a paramedic and an EMT in the back with me. I had to go to bathroom, and they placed a bedpan under me. I was unable to urinate as I was lying flat, and they didn't want to sit me up at all. There was no fetal monitor in the ambulance so the paramedic had to go by what I was saying-I thankfully could still feel the baby moving. The paramedic had a look on his face that I knew I must be bleeding bad. I would ask and he would tell me to focus on the baby and he would ask questions about what we were going to name her, is her room ready, etc. I could tell things were not good. The paramedic kept asking the driver how far out from Bismarck we were and if he could drive any faster. Keep in mind, the roads were glare ice. The ambulance driver did amazing, and I know God had his hands on the wheel that day and guided that ambulance safely to Bismarck. We made it in less than 1 1/2 hours. The trip is usually 2 hours with good road conditions.

I was taken to the OB floor and when they took the bedpan out from under me, it was overflowing with blood. I now know why the paramedic had such a concerned look. I knew that both the baby and I were in trouble. They first placed a catheter in my bladder and they got a portable ultrasound machine. They did a quick ultrasound and thankfully the baby was fine. Mark and I were reassured. Then the doctor came in and he checked me and said that I was fully dilated and that I had no choice but to deliver this baby now. The baby was breech, so he said I needed an emergency c-section. I looked at Mark and I became hysterical. We both had tears streaming down our faces.

The surgical team came in and things were happening so fast. Every time that I cried, more blood would gush from me. They asked Mark to do his best to calm me because I was bleeding profusely by this point. I remember shaking and crying in fear as I removed my earrings and my wedding ring for Mark to hold. The doctor kept telling me to calm down. He said the baby would have around a 50% chance of survival. He said she would go immediately to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I asked the doctor if Mark could be present in the delivery room. The doctor said that Mark could not come in because this was an emergency and we needed to get the baby out immediately. He said that he was going to put me completely under. He promised me that Mark would be in the NICU to be with the baby. Both Mark and I were terrified. I was bleeding so bad they didn't know if either me or the baby were going to come out of the delivery room alive. I remember embracing Mark and we were both crying. I held his hand all the way to the delivery room and then we had to let go. I remember looking back as he stood sobbing in the hallway of the hospital. Neither of us had any idea if we were going to see each other again.

In the operating room, I lay on the cold table with the anesthesiologist at my head. He was trying to calm me as I could hear the doctor yelling at the team to hurry up and he needed to know what my hemoglobin was. The doctor was telling his staff to brace themselves and get ready. I looked up at the anesthesiologist and he placed his hand on my head and told me to listen to his voice and not listen to the doctor in the background. Next thing I remember was a nurse waking me up in the recovery room. I was cold. I was alone. I was in a tremendous amount of pain. All I wanted was to know if my baby was alive.