The Secret
- Chelee-Mark Finch
- Aug 11, 2021
- 6 min read
Romans 8:37 "You are loved beyond measure."
June 2nd, I received a book I ordered from Amazon. Mark got the package and had opened it and laid it on our bed. When I got home that night, Mark asked me if I had found the paper where he had written the name of the book that his counselor had recommended. (Remember this from my last blog?) I told him that I hadn’t found it. He asked me how I had known what book to order. I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about and asked why? He said,” That is the exact book my counselor told me we needed to read together.” That, my friends, is God working his magic once again! The book I had purchased was The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. Some of you may be familiar with this book. I highly recommend it. There is a quiz you can take online without purchasing the book. This quiz will let you know your primary love language. I will include a link to the book at the end and a link to the quiz.
Mark and I both took the quiz that night. We both had the same primary love language, words of affirmation. Apparently, it isn’t very common to have the same love language. And our percentage was nearly the same also. And our next four love languages were nearly the same percentages as well. Words of affirmation being our primary love language was not surprising to us. We both appreciate the daily texts, an occasional note, and telling each other how we feel about one another. Words of affirmation, that is our primary love language. Take the quiz to find out yours.
June 3rd Kalli and Mark headed to the lake a day early. I was left home alone, which is something that I dreaded ever since Mark left for rehab. I hated the quiet and I despised (and still do) being alone. It gave me too much time to think and worry unnecessarily. We did our daily readings prior to them taking off. That night I spent a couple hours re-reading the letters Mark and I exchanged to each other while he was away. That night I watched "The Secret" on Netflix. It is a movie/documentary that my counselor had suggested I watch or read the book. I took so many notes and I was so excited to share this with everyone I knew, especially Mark. There is also a newer version of this called The Secret: Dare to Dream.
I'm going to share a few things that this movie taught me, and I have utilized daily ever since.
Ask for things that you want out loud
Believe it is already yours-have unwavering faith
Receive-begin to feel it now. Feel good and be happy
Don't second guess and do not doubt.
Dream it and you CAN make it happen.
It went on to suggest that you make a list of things that you are grateful for. It then asks that you visualize. When you visualize, you materialize. It suggested that you make a vision board. This is where you decide what you want and put it on a board (I started it on a notebook then made a board later). You look at or visualize these things daily. You also need to focus on your grateful things daily. You can change your circumstances by changing your thinking.
That night I immediately started a notebook and wrote "The Secret" on the cover. The first page I wrote on the top "I am so happy and grateful for..." The I wrote a list of at least 25 things that I am grateful for and Mark's sobriety and my family were number one. The next page I wrote a list of everything that I appreciated about Mark and the 3rd page I wrote everything that I appreciated about myself. It was harder to come up with things that I appreciated about myself. Mark's list was twice as long as mine. The 4th page I began to write things that I wanted for my vision board.
That Friday I went to work for the day. Every morning we have a report with managers/supervisors. There were only four of us in report that morning. I decided to share some of mine and Mark's story with them. The only one in the room that knew why I had been away for those 10 days in April was my administrator. I decided I needed to share our story and I did so by starting here. I laid it all out there. I told them about Mark telling me he needed help. I told them about his awful alcohol withdrawals he had gone though. I told them how we both felt God's presence so strong during that week prior to him going to rehab. I told them about his rehab stay and what he had learned and how he is a now a completely changed man for the better. I told them I also had vowed to make changes In myself. I told them of our marriage troubles and how we committed our marriage fully to God. I told them of our other testimonies of faith since Mark's return form rehab. The room was silent except for the sound of sniffles. I looked around and everyone in the room had tears coming down their faces. I felt a sense of true peace by sharing our story with them. They all offered wonderful words of encouragement. I was told by more than one of them that my story and positive changes Mark and I were making individually and, in our marriage, inspired them. Later, one gave me a simple, beautiful bracelet that says "NEVER GIVE UP" in Morse Code. Another gave me a small pocket-sized glass bumble bee that came with a poem.
The Bumble Bee Cannot Fly
According to laws
of aerodynamics
the bumble bee cannot fly;
Its body is too
heavy for its wings
and that's the simple
reason why.
But the bumble bee
doesn't know this fact,
and so it flies anyway
for all to see.
Remember this when you're
losing faith or hope
God's proof that the
impossible can be.
Bailee came and picked me up from work as she decided to spend the weekend at the lake with us. I talked the entire way to the lake about what I had learned from this movie. Poor Bailee didn't get a word in. I was so excited to share my vision board ideas with her. I immediately told her the things I was going to include on my board. Here was what I included in my initial list (which has since grown).
garage at our lake to be completed by the end of July
Trip to Hawaii in the next 6-8 months
Healthy granddaughter the end of September
Trust restored in Mark in the next 60 days
Mark and I to renew our vows within the next year
Car for Kalli by January-pay with all cash
Mark and I to be inspirations to other couples struggling
Giving back to others-cards to people we know who are sick, money to struggling people we know
Read the above and try and remember some and in a later blog post, you will hear about how some of these have been taken off or came to life. There are a couple quotes I wrote down from the movie that really caught my attention as well.
Learn to love yourself. If you love yourself, you will love others.
Inner happiness is the key to your success.
Good draws in good. Believe in it and it will happen!
Follow you bliss.
From all that I have shared, you can probably tell that this movie really spoke to me. I am so happy my counselor recommended it. She said that it is often recommend to individuals going through addiction troubles.
The rest of that weekend went great. We enjoyed some time on the lily pad with the kids and great friends. Life is good! By this time days 26-30 were completed of the "Dare to Love." These days are self explanatory. Again, both Mark and I were doing these days together by this time.
Link to Book
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts https://smile.amazon.com/dp/080241270X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_G357VC71NM32PH2CDS5R
Link to quiz only. You can do a quiz for yourself, your spouse, your children, etc.
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