Time is Precious

“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeramiah 31:3 “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Matthew 19:6 Life is busy. Always. Along this journey, we have learned that it is essential that we take time for ourselves and time together as a couple. EVERY DAY! Many people say they don't have the time to to do something for themself. Many couples say they don't have the time to spend with their spouse, especially on a daily basis. We are here to tell you, you DO have the time. You have to make the time and make it a priority. "You" time and "us" time are both essential in a marriage.

June 12th, we had a few contractors at the lake prepping a site for our garage, putting in water and sewer lines, etc. Yah, I know. You are probably thinking why during everything going on in your life are you building a garage? You see, our garage dream had started last fall. When Mark left for rehab, Bailee and Justine helped me make the final decision on size, etc. and we got it ordered. So, operation Garage Project was a go. Our life is full of chaos, so adding the building of a garage will fit right in! This day we finished prepping the site and got the plumbing in, so it was all ready for the concrete. The lake weekend was spent with good friends and lots of food. A lot was accomplished. When I got home on Sunday, I found a 3-fold cardboard, like they use for science fair projects. I put my vision board to life. I printed out pictures and made note cards to go beside each picture. My visions felt more real doing it this way. When I was all done, I showed Kalli and Mark my vision board. I asked if either of them felt I should add anything. Kalli had me add a picture of a car next to the note card where I had written “Car for Kalli by January 2022 paying with all cash.” This was anniversary week. I had left the anniversary planning all to Mark. The week was uneventful and looking back I had good days emotionally. Work went well and I started to see positive quotes posted all around the building. It made me feel good that I may have had a part in this “positive” movement at work. I went to a counseling session on June 15th. I did my 5th step with her and told her more testimonies of faith. She was so encouraging and told me that even after only 4 sessions, she felt that I did not need to return. She felt I was headed in the right direction and to come back only if I felt like I needed to. She encouraged me to have Mark and I share our testimonies of faith and how we chose to do everything we could to save our marriage. She said that we may not be ready to do it at this very moment, but she said, “I know you will share some day and it may change somebody’s life.” She told me to text her occasionally to let her know how I was doing. Some quotes I found in my journal that are worth sharing. Yah, I know, I am a quote loving girl. “If you are positive, you’ll see opportunities instead of obstacles. “If god brings you to it, he WILL bring you through it.” The following is part of my journal for June 16, 2021. “Today I have had a very positive day. I focused on the good and completed my work with a smile. You have taught me so much these past couple of months. We are both different people and I believe we are both better people. I believe our marriage is well on its way to healing. I finally feel like I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know we still have some healing, but I do believe our marriage already is better and stronger and it is only going to get even better and stronger. Together we will not be broken. I love you to Maui and back!” A lot of days I ended my journal with “I love you to Maui and back.” I started saying that to my kids and Mark after we visited Maui in 2014. Maui always holds a special place in my heart as it was the last big family trip we took when my dad was still alive. It truly was the trip of a lifetime and I have wanted to return ever since we made that trip nearly 7 years ago. Here are a few pictures from the awesome trip from November 2014. I needed to share this short trip down memory lane. You will find out more, as to why, in my next blog post.

Alright, back to reality. Mark continued with his three days a week with Lionrock. He and his counselor had made the decision that Mark was going to be done June 30 with his IOP. To do this, he was working extra hard to do as many assignments as he could. He also continued with his one day a week of counseling during this time. He had already learned so much through inpatient rehabilitation and his IOP. Mark continued to share what he learned with me. His continued positivity and compassion were so prevalent, and it rubbed off to those around him.

June 17th was the day before our anniversary. It was as if the next day we were going to celebrate our very first anniversary. It may sound strange, but I was nervous. I think I made Mark a little nervous because I really did put all the pressure on him for the big day. I told him I was not going to plan a thing and that it was all up to him. "This matter is in your hand. Rise up. We will support you, so take courage and DO IT!" Ezra 10:4

By this date we had completed the remaining days (36-40) of the 40 day "Dare to Love" challenge. Day 36 we started reading more of the bible out loud. Day 37 we were supposed to start praying together, but we were already doing this daily. Day 38 we shared some "dreams" we wanted with one another. Day 39 we each wrote a letter of commitment and resolve to each other. We included why we are committing to this marriage until death and that we have purposed to love each other no matter what. We each left the letter for the other find. Day 40-we rewrote our wedding vows for when we renew them. We each placed our vows in a safe place and will not share them with one another until we officially renew our wedding vows. The 40 day Dare to Love challenge was exhilarating and I encourage couples to do it. I do believe it truly brought us closer as a couple and has helped our marriage heal.