To love, To Hold; For Better, For Worse

"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never ends." 1Corinthians 13:7-8

In honor of Valentine's Day, I would like to talk about love and marriage. Do you feel marriage is easy or hard? Do you still get butterflies in the pit of your stomach when your significant other holds you or kisses you? Do you seem to work at your marriage continuously or do you go with the flow? I used to think that marriage was easy. Mark and I seemed to see things Eye 2 Eye for the most part. Our marriage seemed to click. Did we encounter issues? We absolutely did. If you know us personally or have read my blog, you understand our marriage had struggles along the way. We dealt with these struggles together and came out stronger on the other side.

We have had several people over the years comment to us that we made marriage look easy or that they wish their marriage could be like ours. Oh, how I wish marriage was that easy, but unfortunately like many other things, marriage takes a lot of work. We now realize just how much work it truly takes. We also realized that along the way, we took each other and our marriage for granted. When we faced our biggest challenge, together we made the decision to make some drastic changes individually, and in our marriage. We fully turned to God, and he saw and still sees us through.

Nobody has a perfect life or marriage. With social media, it is so easy to depict the "perfect" image all the while denying yourself of the truth. I've seen so many happy family vacation pictures on social media only to find the family fall apart shortly after. I have found myself looking back at their posts and their pictures and wonder what went wrong. They portrayed the perfect life on social media and yet, their lives were in dire distress. I get it. Many people are private and choose to keep their life private. I respect that. Then why are they posting a different life on social media. My guess is they did what I am guilty of doing. Posting pictures and posts of a life I wanted others to think we had.

I remember when we went public nearly two years ago. So many people were shocked. Images of our life were distorted by social media and so much more. We hid it all from our family, friends, and we hid feelings and issues from one another. I remember sitting at our lake cabin, just the two of us. We prayed like we have never prayed before. It honestly reminded me of the movie "War Room." Every little thing since the beginning of time came to the surface. When things are held in for so long, look out because it could easily turn into World War III. But, before we let it all out, we held each other and prayed together first. God helped us both to find the right words. In many instances, he honestly spoke through us. "When they bring you to trial, do not worry about what you are going to say or how you will say it; when the time comes, you will be given what you will say. For the words you will speak will not be yours; they will come from the Spirit of your father speaking through you." Matthew 10:19-20. These days were the start of our renewed faith in God and each other. They were, in many ways, the hardest yet some of the most inspiring times in our marriage.

When faced with the unimaginable and adversity rears its ugly head, what will you choose to do? Will you run or hide? Will you choose to ignore it and hope it goes away? Or will you choose to face it head on with prayer? If you choose to face it with God by your side, you will persevere. Have faith and let God be your guide. This doesn't mean that you won't have to do the work. God will provide the way if you choose to allow Him to do so. But, along the way, the work will also need to be done by you. God will provide the tools, but you too must do the work. "The Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your desire." Isaiah 59:11. Do the work. Fight for what you believe in. Do not give up.

So, what is the secret to a happy and fulfilling marriage. It is so simple, yet so complicated. First, God needs to be the center. Second, you must work at your marriage every day, some days harder than others. Forgiveness is essential. Forgiveness is the best form of love, and it is a gift you give yourself. Never go to bed angry. Talk things out, even if they seem small. Often when you bottle small things up, they eventually become BIG things. Offer grace to yourself and others. Grace is an amazing gift. Find the strength. I promise even if you feel weak, strength is inside of you. Accept what is and let go of unrealistic expectations. Pray. Pray together and pray alone. Prayer is always worth it. Some days you may feel like you are beating your head against a wall, while other days it is free flowing. Remember, it is never too late to start over. Every day is a new day and a chance to begin again.

Our story is far from over. It is only beginning. We are proud of where we are at and where we have been. We have made mistakes and we have learned from these mistakes. We will not let where have been and where we are going define us. We are not embarrassed to share our journey; in fact, we are excited to share it with others. We want others to know that when life altering events occur you can let them define you or you can define yourself. We continue to choose to share our journey with others. We hope it will inspire someone in some way to make a positive change in their life or marriage. It is never too late. "No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you always have the choice to turn around." Happy Love Day to everyone out there and an early happy birthday to my hubby Mark (February 15). May God bless each one of you today and always.